It is a rare and wonderful thing that I get to introduce old friends. This fine fellow, Jonathan Mills, hails from The Mountain Lord's past - we first met well over 200 moons ago. At the time I was venturing in the south of Englande, honing my powers and learning about the strange folk of Albion. I was also seeking out the bases of those darned luck goblins. I digress.
It was clear even then that Jonathan possessed a powerful and bewitching type of sorcery, and after a few hours at the Citadel I can now report that he veritably fizzles with energy. Yesterday we ventured into the local village together and a few of the local lasses swooned in his presence. Even more bizarrely, Sergeant Valdek's moustache caught fire when he stood next to him in the village tavern. It is not fair!
Please enjoy my interview with new purveyor of myth and legend, Jonathan Mills. His debut novel is called The Witch of Glenaster.
We are overjoyed you have finally journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?
I usually dwell in my eyrie in London, keeping an eye on the grey skies and greyer faces hereabouts. I kind of miss the trees and fresh air of the West Country, where I originally come from. On the other hand, I do have a nice view of Wembley Stadium, so swings and roundabouts, you know.
Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?
I certainly am!
Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.
I’ve just published my first novel, “The Witch of Glenaster”, on Amazon – it’s a folklore-inspired fantasy novel about a young girl, Esther Lanark, seeking to avenge herself on the eponymous witch for the death of her family.
Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?
I’ve recently begun a sequel to “The Witch of Glenaster”, which will continue Esther’s story, and hopefully contain more of the things I love – dragons, sorcerers, and witches.
We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?
I don’t think you should indulge gnomes, that’s a big no-no. Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen, that’s what I say.
ML: Hah! A man after my own heart.
I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?
Where I come from they leave mommets – small dolls – outside the front door to scare off evil spirits. Failing that, you could always invite him in for a nice cup of tea, talk it over.
My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?
I understand your aversion to turnips. They’re horrible. Could you not get a body double to count them for you?
I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world. Can you think of a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?
Could you get rid of Simon Cowell?
ML: I could try. It is rumoured, however, that he possesses powers that make even Vlad Dracula tremble. Also, we use some of his music in the torture chamber. Most effective it is.
How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?
I don’t currently have a website or similar – at the moment the only way to reach me is through my Amazon page. However, I hope to rectify this soon!
ML: Thank you so much for coming, Jonathan. We wish you all the best in your new literary endeavours.
Folks, please feel free to read and support this splendid young author.