Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Tea and Biscuits with Author Shehanne Moore @ShehanneMoore


         
Well, what a night! I fear I will be in the doghouse with Princess Ruby for quite some time. She told me that it would be the last time she frees me from police custody.
It all started when Shehanne Moore returned from white water rafting and insisted that Findl Nettlecrusher come to the village tavern with us. This was playing with fire, if ever there was. The gnomes are generally forbidden from fraternising with guests, and certainly not usually allowed in the tavern! Shehanne was most insistent, and my protests went unheeded.
To cut a long story short, what proceeded was one of the most raucus nights I have ever witnessed. It started with a drinking contest where great big jugs of whisky were quaffed in seconds. Poor Findl barely stood a chance. Next, we had a display of Highland Dancing on top of the bar in front of a crowd of astonished Rambling Club members.  Somehow a whole hog roast ended up in the fire, and the whole evening culminated in Findl being hurled head-first through a window, into the Mayor's prize-winning flowerbed.
I asked romantic author and humourist Shehanne a few questions yesterday, not long after she arrived:
          
 
 

We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose, Shehanne. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?

I am a miserable creature, oh mighty lord of the citadel, dwelling on wine in the miserable lande of ye Scots, north of ye Englande, north of ye sun...miles north in fact, where ye people dress in kilts, live in castles, eat ye strange dish called haggis and say ye hoots mon, for the benefit of ye tourists.  Ye aisles of ye shoppes are stocked with garden furniture of every description,  instead of gloves and hats, ye beer-bellied men ponce about ye supermarket car-parks in ye shorts and ye open-toed sandals, at ye at the first hint of sun.  And ye young demonstrate their drinking skills on ye streets on ye nightly basis.  Mountainous, so ye climb here has been nothing. There dwell I in a house where you would be lucky to get a biscuit and ye younger daughter complained that last week she found a potato plant growing in a kitchen cupboard. So you cannot imagine how glad I am to come here, oh master.

ML: There are many similarities between your home and ours methinks.



Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?
So long as Gnome Nettlecrusher understands when it comes to white water rafting he is looking at a being who nearly drowned in six inches of water. I am sure it will be very satisfactory. But if this tavern you speak so highly of, serves turnip ale, I think you will find my clog dancing skills are better. Especially upon the  nearest table. You have karaoke?



Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.

Well, what is happening is that I am writing out a character and her clan for my second book. To think they survived hundreds of years of warfare, massacre and clearances, to meet with ye ed’s red pen.  But she is brill so...




Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?
A night out in ye Dundee city centre is always very exciting.


We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?


Gnome throwing. Definitely.   Short of that make them go stand in someone’s garden with their rods for an entire afternoon.  Their fishing ones that is.  That will quieten them down. Either that or they will get nicked, then your problems will be solved.


I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?


Oh just send her back. You know all she does is complain and want you to count turnips anyway.  He is a curmudgeon. She is a curmudgeon. This is a match made in heaven.... Think of who else you could have, oh mighty master.  My own heroine would but require you to change two letters of the name Ruby.


 My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?
You see? You can’t.


I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world.  Can you think of a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?


Well, you’ve asked me and all these other writers on here.  What more is there?
ML: You could be right about this one.

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?



https://shehannemoore.wordpress.com/.wordpress.com/




http://shehannemooreweeblyhttp://shehannemooreweebly
  http://www.facebook.com/.../Shehanne-Moore/163736780417433

ML: Findl is still missing. What have you done with him?
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Monday, 29 April 2013

Books of the Citadel





I think it would be a good idea to mention some of the creative activities that we embark upon here at the Citadel. The gnomes, of course, are experts in pottery, sculpture, metalwork, wood carving and abstract expressionist painting, but that is the topic for another day.

I would like to talk about former Citadel resident , and close friend of the Mountain Lord - Mike Evers.

You may not know this, but Mike spent a few happy years here in the Karkonose in his youth. As well as attempting to chart the Forest of Confusion (unsuccessfully) and spending far too much time in the Forest of Enchantment than was good for him, Mike brought a breath of fresh air to our humdrum lives, and educated us in some of the strange and frankly baffling activities of mankind.

It has been said that Mike is perhaps the only human being who truly understands the gnomes. He has spent many hours communicating with them, and is probably the only person to be fluent in Gnomish. In fact, he is held in such high esteem by the little creatures that they are said to have set up a cult worshipping him. Very odd.

I am always most overjoyed when he sends me messages occasionally, telling me of his life in Albion with his lovely wife, Joanne, and young son, Joseph. He dwells in a place called Yorkshire apparently.

Anyway, I would like to spend a little bit of time introducing you to some of the stories he has produced. He tells me that during his time at the Citadel his eyes were opened to the magical world of myth, legend and fantasy.

He still has a lot to learn, I can tell you! Without further ado, let me mention his books.



The Chaosifier - his debut novel






Mike says he first had the idea of there being 'luck goblins' who are able to shape our destinies with a sprinkle of dust one spring Sunday morning: When we sneeze it marks a change in our fortune. It is not such a silly idea when you think about it.  Our lives are shaped by decisions we make and situations we find ourselves in. So what if there is a force that helps us make the right decisions or brings us a bit of luck just when we need it? He has also been thinking about the philosophy of 'complexity' and 'change' when reading theories for a Masters' thesis about 'prediction'.  From the theory of 'bifurcation' the luck goblins gained their name - Bifurs.

All he needed was an evil nemesis for the Bifurs - and that is when he thought of me! My ability to control the weather and cause havoc was just what he needed. Things just got a bit out of hand, I am afraid.

Maybe I will even be famous one day. Who knows ?




***********************************



The Hopfield Tales

"The voices of the past can change our lives forever."
From June 20th 2013 the novellas The Spirit Archer and Campaign of the Gods will be part of the Urban Fantasy trilogy, The Hopfield Tales.  The new publication will include the new, as yet unreleased, story Mark of the Legion.










The three Hopfield stories:






The Spirit Archer

If the Chaosifier is a seat-of-the-pantaloons action adventure, Spirit Archer has a slower and dreamier narrative pace. Mike wrote it as a simple and straightforward coming-of-age fable after marvelling at the fact that Robin Hood is buried near where he lives and hardly anyone knows about it. He also wanted to write a children's book for modern youngsters who may not have the patience or wherewithall to read a full-sized novel.

Spirit Archer contains genuine historical accounts, local Yorkshire characters and dialogue, wrapped up with a paranormal twist. It is Robin Hood as you have never seen him before.

For some reason, Spirit Archer remains the book that is what the Albion folk call Marmite (after a type of sandwich spread people either love or hate). It has been called everything from inspiring, delightful, witty and remarkable to plodding and, er, uninspiring.  Each to their own, I suppose.




.
Campaign of the Gods

In Campaign of the Gods the action is ramped up once again. The author uses the plot device of telling the story from different points of view. There are two clumsy Norse gods playing a Risk-like board game in Asgard which impacts upon the present day; a flustered policeman who has to get his pregnant wife to a hospital in the neighbouring town; a 'dire wolf' which finds itself jostling in a pack about to devastate a small town; and last (but not least) a bewildered and fearless group of 9th Century Viking berserkers who are transported to the town to save it.

What is not to like?




Mark of the Legion








I think I could talk about these books for hours.  You are welcome to come to our library to read them. Ruby even has them on something called a Kindle.




   The Chaosifier - Trailer







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Sunday, 28 April 2013

Tea and Biscuits at the Citadel – Marie Egles Carhart on behalf of Author J.R. Egles @KabriniMessage


 

My latest guest has travelled all the way from New Jersey in the United States, and in the space of half a day has already redecorated half of the servants' quarters and utterly flustered the housekeeper.  She has even managed to get the footmen to wear bright lemon pantaloons and lime jackets.  Heaven knows where they got them from!

She has definitely brought a zesty, bright aura to the Citadel, and is already making plans with Princess Ruby to paint the dungeons. I just hope she's not thinking about changing the gnomes' quarters. The little creatures have only just recovered from the last makeover 200 years ago, when Baron Dosky painted two of the doors green before accidently falling into a well.

On a more serious note, we are touched to hear that she is here on behalf of her late brother, Joe Egles, and we wish her all the success in the world.  His book looks like a real Sci-fi smasher and you can read more about Joe on his Amazon Profile.



                             

We are extremely pleased you have journeyed to us in the Karkonose, Marie. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?

Well, you can tell that my situation is different than most by the fact that I had difficulty answering the very first question, which was only, “Author’s Name”.  Uh oh, do they get even trickier?

The book I had published is called The Kabrini Message and it’s a book that my late brother, Joe, wrote back in 1987.  Joe passed away in 2010 and I came across his manuscript, in a box of old photos from my mother’s house, in my attic a year later.  It took a year and a half, but I am thrilled and so very grateful to report that The Kabrini Message was published by Etopia Press in eBook format on January 18th of this year and the print release is next week!

I have to admit, I am somewhat intimidated to follow some of the very talented and creative authors that arrived here shortly before me.  They are a tough act to follow under any circumstances, but especially for me, as I am not a writer.  I almost backed out entirely, but then I decided that since it would be ridiculous to even try to “fit in”, I should just be myself (for better or worse!).  That’s usually good advice in any situation; so hopefully, it will even work well here at the Citadel.

ML:  You are fitting just right in, I can assure you.  Ruby is overjoyed. 


So in answer to your question about dwelling and background:  Joe and I are both from New Jersey.  Yes, it’s near New York, but the accent IS different, no matter what you may have heard.  In fact, people from New Jersey really don’t have an accent at all, that’s a common myth.  And we are NOTHING like the characters in “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”, “Jerseylicious” or “The Sopranos”.  If you don’t get any of those TV shows here in the Karkonose, consider yourselves lucky.

*update: ML: Marie has just informed me that there is also a famous show called "Joisey Sore". This had us baffled for quite a while until Bindl kindly informed us that it is called "Jersey Shore".

When I’m not working on Joe’s book (aka, in my real life) I am a commercial interior designer specializing in hotels and restaurants.  Oh, that reminds me… (always networking)…if I may be of any assistance while I’m here, please do not hesitate to ask.  Not that I’m criticizing, but there does seem to be so much grey - and citrus colors are so hot this year – might I suggest a splash of color in your fortress?  And I’m not one to complain, but the noise level is deafening!  Who could sleep here?  Not everyone is nocturnal (or perhaps here they are?).  It’s caused by all the hard surfaces, you know.  Some carpeting on those drafty stone floors would not only help with the acoustics, but cut down on that cold clammy feeling as well.  Then again, perhaps that’s the vibe you were going for - your home should reflect your true self.

But enough about me…

Joe had a great love of several things:  astronomy, building his own telescopes, photography and ham radio among the top priorities.  So not surprisingly, his one and only novel combines his love of stars and planets along with communication. 

As far as what Joe was like, he was extremely intelligent and very funny, with a sense of humor and a quick wit so similar to the dialogue between some of his characters in The Kabrini Message that I can hear his voice when I read it!

 
Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?

 Oh, yes, very much!  I hope I didn’t make it seem otherwise when I made a few small suggestions before.  It’s just a hazard of the trade.  I can’t seem to help myself. 

But I am enjoying every minute.  It’s so…different and um, unique…from anything I’ve ever seen before.  I’m definitely not in New Jersey anymore!  This is my first trip to Europe.  Is it all, um, like this?

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment.

 Well, again, I’m not a writer, but I have been living vicariously as one for the past two years and let me tell you…it has given me a tremendous respect for writers.  I think it’s like owning a Bed and Breakfast.  Everyone dreams of doing it until they actually do and then realize it’s not all glitz and glamour and a lot of hard work!

For the first year I was busy trying to get a literary agent, and working with a professional writer/editor to polish and update the novel. 

I began the second year by abandoning my plan of getting an agent and went directly to publishers, which was much more successful.  But was my work done then?  No!  While waiting for the book’s release (and waiting…and waiting…) came setting up social media such as a facebook page, twitter account, creating a video trailer (who knew such things even existed?) and a blog for the book.  Even if I was a writer, who the heck would have the time?

But I naively thought that once the book came out, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Mission accomplished!”

NOT SO FAST…there’s virtual book tours, book blasts, blog hops and something called “swag”.  Yikes! I don’t even know what any of these words mean…you people have your own language!

No wonder Margaret Mitchell always said she’d never write another book after Gone With The Wind…it’s exhausting…and I didn’t’ even write this one!

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?

Yes!  As I mentioned before, The Kabrini Message print release is next week and I have a book tour coming up with www.Book-Tours.com in June.  But in between I am embarking on my first….oh, excuse me, my second (including my current time here in the Karkonose Mountains) trip to Europe!  I am extremely excited about that.  I will be in Barcelona and several stops in Italy and France.

Upon my return, I will immediately begin work on the next step for The Kabrini Message, which is to develop it into a screenplay.  Yes, I am a glutton for punishment it seems.

But in all seriousness, this whole journey has been such a wonderful and educational experience and I have made so many incredible friendships and met so many fabulous people that I now cannot imagine not having in my life.  I’ve learned so much about so many things and stretched so many boundaries that I find it difficult to even put into words what an amazing gift this entire experience has been.  I feel truly blessed, overwhelmed with gratitude and, all kidding aside, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!


We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?

 

Yes, you can try a DVD of the movie, Gnomeo and Juliet


   ©Walt Disney Studios, 2011

 

 
Depending on their point of view, you can either employ it as tool of reward if they are good or punishment if they are bad.  I have a feeling they would not be too fond of it, so perhaps the latter would be most beneficial. 

ML: I believe we did show this once and unfortunately it led to a small riot.  It is not often they get to see females, you see. 


I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?

First of all, are you absolutely certain there is no basis for his suspicious beliefs?  If there is, stop denying it and just tell him the truth and he will eventually have to “deal with it”. 

However, if there is no truth to this and he is just being paranoid, try explaining to him that if she did run off with someone else, he is far better off without her.  Somewhere in Transylvania there is someone truly deserving of the love of Vlad Dracula (did I just say that?).  But unless he puts the past behind him, he may miss the future that is just waiting for him.  So, basically… Get over it!

ML: He can put that one in his pipe and smoke it!
 

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?

Well, the obvious answer would be to stop spending so much time in the local village and more time counting turnips.   But I happen to know that one is NEVER to even mention turnips in your presence as “the very thought of those dreadful things” make you cross.  (Remember though, I didn’t bring them up, you did.  Boy, I’ll bet a picture of the “dreadful things” would really piss you off!)

 
  ML: GAH!!!


So, since you are apparently opposed to that option, I suggest the following:

Offer to bring your wife with you on occasional trips to the village.  Not every time, but maybe once every week or two.  Think of it as a “date night”.

Regarding the “counting turnips” thing, does it really matter how many there are?  If so, maybe you could hire a gardener to do it.  If you are truly as repulsed by them as you say AND it would help keep peace in your relationship, it would be well worth the expense.

Wow, I feel like the “Dear Abby” of the Karkonose!

 
How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?

Yes, thank you for asking and thank you so much for inviting me to visit your magnificent home!




Blog

Pinterest

Twitter  



                                                                 The Kabrini Message



ML: You are most welcome, Marie.  We have been moved by your visit. I am sure your late brother would be very proud of you.


Oh, nearly forgot. Here is the synopsis of The Kabrini Message:




They had finally made contact.  And the world would never be the same…


Jeffrey Driscoll is a rugged yet charming adventurer with a hidden consciousness: when he gazes through the eyepiece of his telescope, he senses someone is looking back.  Haunted by the stars since boyhood, he sets off on an exhilarating quest that takes him across the planet.  Not quite sure what he seeks, Driscoll only knows he must keep moving. Throughout his reckless escapades, Driscoll is often accompanied by Mondo (a childlike, affable young African), Mohammed (a surly, sun-blasted Arab) and Goldstein (a cynical New York Jew), an unlikely trio that never fails to plunge face-first into hilariously perilous predicaments.



When an uptight British archeology professor hires the ragtag crew for a dig on the Greek island of Delos, Driscoll stumbles upon a miraculous find: ancient crystals with celestial coordinates that will connect mankind with the Kabrini, a highly advanced alien civilization.  Driscoll’s groundbreaking discovery ultimately leads to Planet Earth’s first global space effort, the Legacy mission.

Years later, when Driscoll Mining and the U.S. Army complete deep space construction of the Kabrini communications network, the Legacy mission is deemed a success.  Mankind finally makes contact…only to discover the Kabrini Message isn’t exactly what we want to hear.  The Kabrini view our civilization as one of heightened intelligence yet no spiritual enlightenment—a dangerous combination.  Although the wise alien race has the ability to offer mankind limitless knowledge and staggering technological advances, they fear our barbaric people will only use the information for evil.

As if to prove the Kabrini right, a fanatical terrorist group’s hunger for revenge leads to an explosive turn of events, threatening the Kabrini network; but Driscoll will stop at nothing to save the project.  As his obsession with the Kabrini grows and the Legacy mission spirals out of control, he risks losing it all—his company, his grasp on what’s most important, and the one thing he’s ever truly loved: his wife, Carol.

This thrilling Adventure meets Sci-Fi saga takes readers across the globe and beyond, from the jungles of Africa to the Islands of Greece, from the streets of London to the tombs of Egypt, from Washington D.C. to Los Angeles, Jamaica, and Vienna, and finally to the deepest depths of space and Earth’s first global space effort, the Legacy mission.

Join Jeffrey Driscoll and all of mankind on an unforgettable journey to alien contact and universal enlightenment in The Kabrini Message.


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Saturday, 27 April 2013

Divided We Write, United We Tweet #IndieAuthorsUnited #Triberr


 
 


My gnome technicians have just set up a new tribe on a thing called Triberr

We are called Indie Authors Utd - a coalition of indie writers, independent publishers and book bloggers.

I'll hand you over to Bindl to explain the  technical stuff.


Bindl Bogwalker:

Triberr connects bloggers by allowing them to share the RSS feeds on their blogs and Tweet about each other when new blog posts are made. All you need is a blog with Blogger or WordPress and a Twitter account.

You can select the Tweets you would like to send and set up the frequency they will come through your Twitter feed. You don't have to Tweet anything you don't want to. It's easy really.

It's a powerful way of driving readers to your blog and getting more followers on Twitter. It's simple really.  Oh, and you can join Triberr by logging in with your Twitter ID.  It's a doddle really.



Thank you, Bindl (really)

To come and join us, login into Triberr, search 'Mountain Lord' , locate the Indie Authors Utd link and follow me.  Providing there are no technical issues (gnome technology is notoriously unreliable, believe me), I will set you up as a tribe member.

In doing so we might just become a force to be reckoned with... 




Friday, 26 April 2013

The Thunder Mountain Gnomes: An Introduction





We have lots of people and creatures living here at the Citadel, ranging from servants and gardeners through to assorted staff such as gnome-keepers, lab technicians, porters and Ruby’s handmaidens. In the bowels of the fortress there are beasties and things which I cannot begin to give a name to, and one or two things that I can – but dare not, for fear of tormenting your psyche.

The creatures that I get most asked about are our gnomes. We have had them here at the Citadel for as long as I can remember, and I will admit that, for the most part, I ‘liberated’ them from their home in Tibet.  However, nearly all of the Thunder Mountain Gnomes are now willing and much-valued workers, and we have not had to resort to using torture for at least the last two months.

Despite the occasional drunken and high-spirited incident, where they have set fire to parts of the citadel or ransacked the local village, they are a pleasure to keep.
 At any one time we probably have between 200 and 300 gnomes on the mountain.  They do have a habit of vanishing sometimes, and I believe that there might still be a colony holed up somewhere in the Forest of Enchantment. Last year a group of 20 or so emerged from the forest and spent the best part of a week moping around the citadel, kissing by-passers.
 Of the thousands of gnomes that have been in my employ, there are a few which stand out. I will mention them here:

Grundl Wibblesnapper
Grundl was nominated spokesgnome after winning the gnome elections of November 2011.
 

As well as being a forthright and outspoken, Grundl is something of a collector of curiosities and a budding alchemist. His potions are usually very peculiar indeed.


Bundl Fugglebum
Mercurial and bright, Bundl is the star bowgnome of the Thunder Mountain Archery Team.  Although he has moments of personal angst and self-doubt, on more than one occasion he has faced down his demons and seized victory for the gnomes.





Wimpl the Unwilling
Wimpl is the most infuriating gnome I have ever met. He is even known as ‘The Dungeon King’ among his peers due to amount of ‘time’ he has done in the cells. His stubbornness is his trump card, but his fondness for ale his Achilles heel.  


Findl Nettlecrusher
Findl’s recklessness is legendary. In the past Findl was first choice for any sports team being sent to the Legendary Creatures’ Christmas Fayre, but it seems that his mind has become increasingly unhinged from sampling Grundl’s potions.  Findl still holds the record to parachute-less cliff diving and going over the Thunder Falls without a barrel. How much longer will his luck hold out?


Wornl Greyflap and Bindl Bogwalker
These stoic, highly-skilled gnome technicians somehow survived the episode with The Chaosifier and are recovering in Tibet, where they are said to be very well indeed.

*update - Bindl has just returned with his new wife. I have just promoted him to head of my technology section
 



 
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Tea and Biscuits at the Citadel – Author Jonathan Mills


It is a rare and wonderful thing that I get to introduce old friends.  This fine fellow, Jonathan Mills, hails from The Mountain Lord's past - we first met well over 200 moons ago.  At the time I was venturing in the south of Englande, honing my powers and learning about the strange folk of Albion.  I was also seeking out the bases of  those darned luck goblins. I digress.
It was clear even then that Jonathan possessed a powerful and bewitching type of sorcery, and after a few hours at the Citadel I can now report that he veritably fizzles with energy. Yesterday we ventured into the local village together and a few of the local lasses swooned in his presence.  Even more bizarrely, Sergeant Valdek's moustache caught fire when he stood next to him in the village tavern. It is not fair!  
Please enjoy my interview with new purveyor of myth and legend, Jonathan Mills. His debut novel is called The Witch of Glenaster.



We are overjoyed you have finally journeyed to us in the Karkonose. Can you tell us something about the place where you usually dwell and your background?
I usually dwell in my eyrie in London, keeping an eye on the grey skies and greyer faces hereabouts. I kind of miss the trees and fresh air of the West Country, where I originally come from. On the other hand, I do have a nice view of Wembley Stadium, so swings and roundabouts, you know.

Are you enjoying your visit to the Citadel?
I certainly am! 

Tell us what is happening to you at the moment as a writer.
I’ve just published my first novel, “The Witch of Glenaster”, on Amazon – it’s a folklore-inspired fantasy novel about a young girl, Esther Lanark, seeking to avenge herself on the eponymous witch for the death of her family. 

Do you have anything exciting lined up for the future?
I’ve recently begun a sequel to “The Witch of Glenaster”, which will continue Esther’s story, and hopefully contain more of the things I love – dragons, sorcerers, and witches.

We employ lots of gnomes here at the citadel. They are quite rambunctious and troublesome at times, and often refuse to work. Do you have any tips on looking after them?
I don’t think you should indulge gnomes, that’s a big no-no. Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen, that’s what I say.
ML: Hah! A man after my own heart.

I have a long running feud with Vlad Dracula, who lives over in Transylvania. He thinks I stole his wife and will not let it lie. Do you any recommendations on how I should deal with the grumpy old curmudgeon?
Where I come from they leave mommets – small dolls – outside the front door to scare off evil spirits. Failing that, you could always invite him in for a nice cup of tea, talk it over.

My wife Ruby says I spend too much time in the local village and not enough time counting turnips for her. How can I keep her happy?
I understand your aversion to turnips. They’re horrible. Could you not get a body double to count them for you?

I failed in my last attempt to unleash chaos on the world.  Can you think of  a way I should employ my powers to redeem myself and make the world a better place?
Could you get rid of Simon Cowell?
ML: I could try. It is rumoured, however, that he possesses powers that make even Vlad Dracula tremble.  Also, we use some of his music in the torture chamber. Most effective it is.

How can people find you on this Internet thing-a-me-jig? Do you have a web address or other ways that lovely book fans can read more about you?
I don’t currently have a website or similar – at the moment the only way to reach me is through my Amazon page. However, I hope to rectify this soon!

Links:



ML: Thank you so much for coming, Jonathan. We wish you all the best in your new literary endeavours. 
Folks, please feel free to read and support this splendid young author.


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Campaign of the Gods - Trailer

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