Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Great Minds...

Mike Evers is extremely excited, proud and happy to announce that he will be working with GMTA Publishing with his forthcoming new novella: The Spirit Archer.

He is over the moon that his new publisher is as enthusiastic, passionate and hopeful about the project as he is, and is most impressed at the level of skill, creativity and professionalism of GMTA Publishing already.

I can report that he sent me a text earlier (which I suspect may have been slightly drunken). It said simply this:


Most wonderful, I say!

Friday, 24 February 2012

Mrs Petruszka's fixation with murder - 'The Perfect Game'

In the last couple of days there has been a lack of focus in the kitchen.  It would seem our esteemed cook, Mrs Petruszka, has become addicted to murderous stories and the like.  So, I fear our tastebuds must suffer more than usual until her grisly thirst is quenched.  It could be some time. 

At the moment she says 'The Perfect Game' by John Hansen is a very fine read indeed.  Who would have thought she would like such things!

The Perfect Game



Sunday, 19 February 2012

Ale Curling - NOT a future Olympic sport

view detailsThere is an air of silence over the citadel today.  Once again the gnomes have managed to disgrace themselves, and have sullied the good reputation they earned through recent sporting triumphs. 

I will not go into detail, but let me say that 'ale curling' does not involve ice, curling stones, or any such sporting accoutrements.  It does, however, involve copious amounts of beer and a powerful desire to ransack the cheese cellar (again). 

Therefore, it is with something of a heavy heart that I must punish the little creatures, and return them to a diet of gruel and dry biscuits.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Maynard Soloman - A man on a mission

It appears my spy network in the USA has been rattled of late.  Boris, my insightful and resourceful chief of secret police, informs me that our chaos network is being investigated by a querulous man known as Maynard Soloman.  The man even had the temerity to block the entrance to our Washington hideout with something called a 'winnebago'. Two of our agents managed to break into this mobile house and discovered the following ebook, which details some of his earlier investigations.  Even Boris has been reading it and says it is very entertaining indeed.  You can find out yourself:

4 Funny Detective Stories - Starring Maynard Soloman
Amazon UK:

Amazon USA:

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Two lovely books from bonnie Scotland

I was checking through my mail this morning and I was surprised to find a message from Cousin Hamish in Brigadoon. I will not bore you with the drunken scribbling that made up much of this particular missive, but I'd like you draw your attention to this part:

"...blah blah... and then me wee lassie, Euna, appeared, bearing two fine gems upon her strange device.  Such a gleeful smile I ne'er seen...."  

It appears Euna has put these new ebooks on her, um, Kindle (candle?) thingy and is loving them to bits. Apparently they are by a wonderful Scottish lady known as McDroll. You can find out more about them by clicking on the links below:
The Wrong Delivery - Corrin's Eyes

Saturday, 4 February 2012

The Thunder Mountain Cup (Bobsleigh)

view detailsWell, what an event!    

I can report from a very icy Thunder Mountain that the highly-anticipated bobsleigh event turned out to be not only very exciting and spectacular, but also highly surprising.

I am afraid to say the Robin Hood All Stars failed to turn up due to being stuck in heavy snow in Belgium.  Furthermore, the event got off to a late start due to Puck’s Merry Mischief Makers sabotaging the starting system. This was foul play - for which they got their first warning.

First to start were the Dwarven Ox-cart Stunt Display Team, who looked very impressive, but did not make it off the start when the one of the wheels fell off their cart. They, however, bravely (or foolishly) chose to ignore the clear setback, flying off the track at the first bend. Fortunately, they landed safely in a snow drift and added a theatrical flourish which was much appreciated by the crowd.  The stewards are now looking into the suitability of their ‘sleigh’, and questions have been raised about why they were allowed to use it in the first place.

Next up were the Black Forest Wood Elves, who had spoken confidently about their skills, but were clearly out of their element, notching up slow times in both rounds.  They also received a warning for taking pot shots at small woodland creatures as they whizzed around the track.  Their bows will be returned to them at the time of their departure to the Black Forest.

There had been much expectation about the terrifying Frost Giants, and there had been talk of them walking away with the event.  If they had demanded the trophy, I doubt anyone would have stopped them taking it.  However, despite all the predictions, they never even made it to the first bend after their tremendous bulk caused them to become wedged in the track.  It took more than an hour to free them, and it was very sad to see the great giant, Fingur, break down and blubber like a child. They were last seen stomping into the forest, tearful and embarrassed.

And so on to our boys: The delay caused by Wimpl the Unwilling, once again refusing to come out of the ale tent, played to The Thunder Mountain Gnomes advantage. It was during the delay that someone noticed the small explosive device cunningly placed under their bob, causing a great fracas at the starting gate. Luckily, a passing dwarf defused the device and expert driver-gnome, Bundl Fugglebum, guided the team to a fast first heat. Their insane pace was probably helped by truculent brake-gnome, Wimpl, choosing not to slow the bob at any point. 

Puck's Merry Mischief Makers also posted a quick time in the first heat in their amazing Hobgoblin Special.  There had been questions over the legality of the sleigh, but after receiving a whiff of magic dust from the rear, the course master allowed it to continue.  There were also some issues about the inclusion of a suspected wood-demon in the team, but these fears were soon allayed.

Which brings me to the exciting finale:  I can report that the gnomes pulled off a miraculous final heat, despite a sudden and mysterious fall of smog caused by swamp gas. Somehow Bundl fended off the diabolical enticements of Will-o’-the – wisp, whose unexpected and mesmerising appearance on the track led to a stewards’ enquiry and the removal of Puck’s mischief makers from the event.

So, it is with great pride that I can post the following results:

1st place  -   The Thunder Mountain Gnomes

2nd place – Black Forest Wood Elves

3rd place    - The Dwarven Ox-cart Stunt Display Team (out on first bend)

I am already looking forward to next year’s event.

Thursday, 2 February 2012

For your information...

I am woe to report that Mike Evers withdrew The Chaosifier from publication with Trestle Press yesterday due to potential copyright infringements by the publisher.

These are strange days indeed.  

Mike, however, looks forward to re-releasing it as a shiny new edition in the coming months, along with a magical, new tale involving the town of Hopfield. Hooray!

Campaign of the Gods - Trailer

The Mountain Lord on Twitter